If I could sum up my biggest struggle of the last few months in one word, it would be acceptance.

I’m not talking about admittance. Although, at the time, I thought admitting to myself and loved ones that I had become obsessed with eating “right” and exercising would be the hardest part of this journey. I was wrong. Very wrong.

Recently my husband took, what I considered to be, an unflattering photo of me. I took one glance at it, forced him to delete it, and proceeded to think about it nonstop. Did I really look like that? Had I really gained that much weight? Was it because of dinner last night? I knew I shouldn’t have gone back for seconds. I’m never taking another picture again.

Do these asinine thoughts sound at all familiar? My hope is “no”, but my fear is an all too common “yes”.

I am 100% guilty of letting things like this eat away at me. I KNEW I would have to gain weight for this journey. I KNEW I would look different and some clothes may not fit anymore. I KNEW I would FEEL different. However, I never truly accepted it.

Now that these truths are hitting home, I’ve been trying to “practice” the art of acceptance. And like the very essence of eating and exercise disorders, it is not simply just about the food or just about the exercise, it weaves itself into the fabric of our lives.

Here are 8 “truths” I’ve been forced to accept:

1. I will never be as thin as I once was. Ever. For this reason, I’ve had to take down pictures that do little more than make me feel bad about how I look today.
2. There are people who are, and will always be, slimmer than me. Not every thin person has an eating disorder. Some women have more efficient metabolisms and different genes. I can’t change science.
3. Feeling full is normal. You know that “uncomfortable” feeling you’ve been trying to avoid these past 3 or 4 years? Yeah, that’s normal. Get used to it.
4. I can’t expect to make 100% on every paper or every exam (without driving myself or my husband crazy). Some things are more important than a good grade and the stress it causes does more damage than anything else.
5. Getting pregnant will be a challenge. Like #2, there are some Fertile Myrtles out there who seem to get pregnant at the mere sight of a penis. Unfortunately, I’m not one of them.
6. I can’t control everything. From the mud my dogs track into the house right after I vacuumed, to the traffic jam causing me to be late (my biggest pet peeve), I just have to let crap go.
7. I may not ever be totally “healed”. Studies have shown that less than 10% of woman totally outgrow their obsession with food and exercise. Yes, that’s terrifying. No, that won’t stop me from trying.
8. Food is good. Food, while it does make our bodies run efficiently, is also meant to be satisfying and pleasurable. And that is OK!!

I urge you to write down some “truths” you’ve been battling with lately. Once they’re down on paper, they seem a little less scary and a bit easier to digest.

Before I close, I want to leave you with a photo that’s been creating quite a “buzz” among social media:

I’ve read varying opinions on this photo shoot from “good for her” to “wish I could unsee this” to “that’s great that she’s comfortable in her own skin, but why does she have to pose nude?”

My response is this: If it helps one girl feel like her body isn’t so different, then GREAT! I personally like the reminder that stomach rolls are normal, and even brilliant, beautiful and funny women like Amy Schumer have them. And she’s not ashamed of it. Not in the least. None of us should be.

XoXo

Katie