The single best thing I ever did for my health was delete an app.

Let me begin by saying that calorie counting apps can be a powerful tool. For some, it is a wake up call that they are consuming too many calories for their needs. Others might use them to help gain weight or even lower cholesterol.

That being said, tools like this should be a means to an end. You capture a clear picture of what changes you may want to make and you move on with your life. I’m sure you can guess that I didn’t use it as a “means to an end”. It was a big part of my life for way too long.

It started off as an innocent experiment. I figured surely I was eating AT LEAST 2,000 calories. After tracking a typical day it appeared to be more like 1,300. I took that as the number my body felt comfortable consuming and decided not to abuse it by “overfeeding” it.

Soon after, I found a function that allows you to set your daily goals to either lose, maintain or gain weight. Naturally, I opted for the “lose weight” feature. I wasn’t yet educated on macro and micronutrients so I kept those on default and away I went on a very dark path.

The calorie and nutrient numbers generated on the app are meant to serve as goals. I perceived them as challenges. If the app told me my daily calorie goal was 1,500, I would “beat it” and hit 1,300 instead. If the app told me to keep my sugar under 40g, I would make it 30g. My competitive spirit kicked in and I was on a mission to “win” a game that was never meant to be played.

My world revolved around the calories I consumed and the calories I burned. I logged every single meal, snack, and drink. I often overestimated so I could have a little “cushion room” at the end of the day.

I started to avoid restaurants that didn’t publish their nutrition facts. If I didn’t have access to that information, I could only assume it was because they used tons of oils, fats and other hidden high caloric ingredients.

I also started measuring my foods. I measured everything from the almond butter I put on my toast to the lettuce I put in my salad. I would log my meals before I even made them so I could edit the amounts to better fit my micro and macros. This was all in an effort to avoid the feeling of eating more than I planned.

My logging got so obsessive that I would include grocery store samples and bites of my husband’s food. There was no way to know how many calories I consumed so I usually rounded my bites up to 100 calories. That would give me my “cushion room”.

Eating became a chore. I knew if I wanted to eat, I would need to pre-plan on the app, measure the ingredients and log it. Sometimes it was too much work and I would skip the snack or meal all together.

I no longer looked at food as something to be enjoyed. Instead I saw numbers and percentages. I felt like I was trapped and the only way out was to “get fat”. That would mean I failed. I couldn’t let that happen.

I put so much pressure on myself to meet these computer-generated numbers that I had become boring and miserable. The only room I had in my brain was for food, exercise and work. I was on autopilot merely surviving each day rather than living it.

Fast forward to today. I would be lying if I said I didn’t think about the numbers sometimes. I’ve burdened myself with the ability to recite calories in several different nut butters, breads, avocados by size and 4 oz servings of various meats. The difference is that I’m choosing to ignore it. I’m trying to making food choices each day based on what MY BODY needs and wants. Experts label this “intuitive eating”.

I’m not calling for a mass-deletion of the app (or others like it). I think they have value. However, for Type-A people like myself who are already prone to undereating and overexercising, it can be detrimental.

If you’re counting calories, fats, carbs, sugar etc. ask yourself “Why?”. Is it truly in an effort to improve your health? If not, do yourself a favor and try a week sans-counting. You’ll be surprised how empowering it feels and how much mental space it gives you to think and do things that really matter.

XoXo Katie